Going Against the Grain: Harnessing Courage for Authentic and Liberating Peace Practice
“Whatever we are, whatever we do we will always be peacebuilders…it’s not doing, it’s being,” Bintang reflected, as she shared about her own peace practices and her role as a facilitator. So often society sees and values the ‘doing’ of something more than the embodied being of a practice. Bintang shines as an example of authenticity as success. She finds the fluidity, the lack of intensive structure, and the freedom to simply be a peacebuilder powerful and liberating. Bintang’s work as a peacebuilder throws away traditional scripts, and lives by her own rules and those co-created with her peers. She demonstrates that strong impact comes from truly community-centered peacebuilding.
Bintang’s peacebuilding journey emerged from a harrowing experience of a dear friend being radicalized, and the unfolding emotions, realizations, and responsibilities from that. Youth vulnerabilities, isolation, and radicalization is a long-time studied trajectory, and a key area for violence prevention. Bintang’s experience illuminated for her the deep interconnectedness of us all, and, with that, the deep responsibility we each hold to be peacebuilders. When one thread in a community is pulled, the whole tapestry can unravel. Reckoning with the fragility and vulnerability of her own community, Bintang identified the key need and importance of social cohesion, and has since committed to being a community weaver.Inspired by her own experiences, Bintang, alongside a group of close friends, founded an initiative that utilizes sports and life skills training to promote social cohesion and gender equality. They’ve worked with middle schools in Jakarta, Indonesia with great success. In their initial phase of programming, after the training 100% of participants reported they need to practice empathy and teamwork to build a strong student culture. Students reflected that they felt closer to each other and less lonely after the training, understanding and empathizing that others’ experience similar struggles to them. They expressed feeling a stronger sense of ‘power’ and agency in compassionately and maturely addressing conflict, rather than succumbing to fighting.
After such success, the initiative started to develop into an organization - a staff team with official titles, programmatic and fundraising structure, intensive scheduling and to-do lists. However, rather than feeling supported to flourish by the structure, Bintang and team members found it difficult, “I’m not a CEO type…I felt burdened by it. When I tried to run it the way I feel organizations should run, I burnt out and I felt so exhausted.” It was clear that the structure was stamping out joy from the work. In that realization, Bintang made the courageous step to let it fall apart.
Bintang experienced what can happen when we let go of attachment and expectation - we open space for what wants to effortlessly emerge and breathe life into instead. “I decided to just let go and let things unfold, you know. I just let it be.” In that spaciousness, 20 volunteer facilitators committed, a new model of a fluid, distributive, community-centered effort took hold, and a new name emerged. In that spaciousness, Leadership Lens was born. Leadership Lens holds the same aim of promoting social cohesion and gender equality with youth, yet with no structural pressure or expectation. Volunteers self-organize based on what they are passionate about contributing to the initiative - social media, grant writing, program facilitation. Bintang and close friends meet bi-weekly, sometimes to chat about an upcoming project or emerging needs from the community, and sometimes simply to bond - sharing meals together, watching a movie, or chit-chatting. They center the relationships, and from there the powerful work emerges.
From the beginning of this initiative, Bintang always held the vision of creating something open source. She wanted to create a full program package - from facilitation to monitoring and evaluation - that can be utilized and led by people anywhere, and adapted and modified to fit their context, needs, and desires. She wants to provide others with what the PPA has provided to her: “this is why the fellowship [PPA] really helped me, because it provided me with the model, integral peace leadership. It provides a very clear compass. Almost like how do we create change…it’s like the recipe…What’s so good is that the integral peace leadership model, you can do it for any kind of issue.”Through Leadership Lens, they are actualizing that vision. They have now grown to work with 5 communities outside of Jakarta, conducting training of trainers (ToT) sessions to support others in using their program model of sports, teamwork, empathy building, and life skills training to foster social cohesion and gender equality; ultimately with the aim of preventing radicalization. They are developing an open source curriculum to be available online. Bintang trusts and believes that letting go of ownership allows the work to thrive further. She also shares that one day Leadership Lens may need to stop operating, whether due to lack of funds, people-power, or anything else - and that’s OK. Bintang is committed less to the structure and credit of the work, and more to ensuring that the content, tools, and information is accessible and available to the world. “I am a community facilitator and I always will be, with Lens or without Lens, and I think that’s so freeing. Even the reason we decided to have a name and rebrand is because we were thinking how do we make people understand quickly if we do things with other communities. Even without the name I'll still be doing this, and other facilitators too.”
Having the courage to let things flow organically, really listening to her own intuition and self-trust, utilizing mutual care practices, and valuing access to center community makes Bintang standout as a peacebuilder. She is firm in her moral center and moral integrity. By taking a more distributed approach to grassroots peacebuilding, she is going against the grain, and demonstrating not only what authenticity in action looks like, but that her mission of preventing radicalization will come from everyone playing their part in truly being a peacebuilder.
[This interview has been edited for length and readability.]
Can you share more about your origin story to this work? You’ve had a journey of speaking your mind, saying what maybe is a controversial thought or opinion, and navigating a radicalized environment - would you be willing to bring me back there a bit? If current Bintang could say anything to past Bintang, what would it be?
When my friend was radicalized and began posting messages, threatening messages, on social media targeting national institutions, media like newspapers, and targeting young girls to be married to him - I mobilised my friends. I tracked down and tried to understand. I wanted to find someone to blame. I was following down the trail, but in the end the answer was so unsatisfying. The answer I got was, “look he hasn’t been showing up to classes at university or the Quran study club he’s been a part of, and he’s been going to this fringe middle of nowhere mosque from someone who is allegedly part of a radical organization.” But then that’s it. I couldn't track anymore, that’s all because apparently the group that is led by the violent extremist inspired leader - they move from one mosque to one mosque which makes sense, they don't want to be identified. But it’s so unsatisfying right? So deeply, deeply, unsatisfying.
Back then the idea of de-radicalization as a knowledge, a field, wasn’t a thing. I wasn’t aware of that, the family also wasn’t aware. The family of my friend decided to put him in a mental institution. The ending was so unsatisfying, there was no real answer, nobody I could say that for sure they radicalized my friend. And I struggled so hard with that and I didn't really forgive him until after I learned more about violent extremism and how it thrives in vulnerable communities or vulnerable environments where social cohesion is low and loneliness is high. It’s when I realized, “oh my gosh, I mean maybe he was radicalized because of all of us.” Maybe he was radicalized because of this group, but also because of the environment he was in, and maybe there isn't one specific event that triggers him, it's a build up. I remember this so vividly: a friend of his told me ‘I’m not so sure if I want to call him a victim.’ He said that to me. ‘He was the one who follows where this group goes. He made so many choices. He was part of this Quran study group, he could go to the mosque in his university where people are more moderate, but he chose that. It’s also his decision.’ And I thought his friend was also right in some ways. Maybe he was so lonely and it was the only outlet or only group that was welcoming to him, that was empathizing with his loneliness and his struggles.
At that moment I thought there is no other way - everybody has to be a peacebuilder. When we talk about radicalization now, you can DIY your own radicalization, you know, by reading or joining groups on the internet. And listen to right wing podcasts. It’s so easy, you don’t have to be in-person anymore. And I think at that point I realized everybody, including me, I have to be a peacebuilder and I have to work for promoting social cohesion in my community. Whatever that looks like.
“I realized everybody, including me, I have to be a peacebuilder and I have to work for promoting social cohesion in my community. Whatever that looks like. ”
It feels like I was running and tracking answers so obsessively, but the answer is everything. The answer is, of course, I have responsibility in some ways. I have responsibility. Our high school friends, his friends, me included, have responsibilities, the university that wasn’t able to keep him engaged when he was having a mental breakdown. They have responsibility, right? How can you let your student slip through the cracks? And the Quran study club he goes to, they knew they saw the signs of being disengaged, of being depressed, but didn’t do anything. All of us here, we truly are so interconnected, you know, and it’s so scary to think that we are so deeply, deeply interconnected. And when that connection fails, or is vulnerable, we truly are so vulnerable to all sorts of violence, all sorts of violent ideology or extreme ideology. It’s so scary, you know, because of how fragile - individually we are so fragile.
Do you identify as a peace leader? What does that mean to you?
Yeah - I think I understand being a peace builder is that I try to or, not try, I intentionally work to promote peace where I live. And that will look different from time to time, year to year. Like now obviously we cannot just talk about violent extremism because it’s so deeply connected with gender norms, and how there are violent organizations that target lonely and vulnerable young men who are also victims of misogyny and patriarchy. They cannot find meaningful connection with young women because they feel that the only structure of relationship that they can have with girls or women is one of dominance, is one of master/slave relationship. How can you not be lonely if that’s the case, right? But this coming year with so much of the chaos coming from our elected officials it’s also time to talk about civic engagement and being able to say what you want and being courageous in saying what’s right. I think it’s very context specific - being a peacebuilder, for me, and being able to respond [to] and also prevent the kind of things that will lead into violence, lead into unrest, into radicalization.
What are you most proud of in your peacebuilding work so far?
So many! I don't know if I can choose one. I think it’s just the fact that now that we have some modules that we can share - and Hanil figures out how to do it at no cost. I am so proud that it is so good we can have that up on the website and have people access it. That’s what I am most proud of. I feel very confident that the module is done, the M&E is done, and people can easily adapt it. Of course, we’ll have to see if it’s actually adaptable, but for now I think the work from our end is done. I just want to give it to the rest of the world. And to help other communities to implement it, but of course there will be challenges. I think it’s another level of challenge because we’ll have to figure out how to do ToT [training of trainers] correctly. It’s also learning progress for us, how to do ToT and what does it take to support a project done by another community who isn't in the same city as you. And also if there is a different island there will be language differences, culture, and I’m just excited to see what kind of modifications we will see.
“I find that letting go and trusting in the universe, in the process, is very important. Stop trying to control everything all the time. I want to try to let it be natural and be a little braver every day. ”
Through all of this, what if any regular practices do you have for yourself for your own peace?
I think I have found exercise to be very helpful. I didn’t imagine I would say it. I’m not the most active - definitely not. But there is a treadmill in my room now and so it’s been really helpful in regulating my emotions. And the weekly badminton game I have with a couple of people I know. It’s really helpful. It is so much fun. And also I have been - I’m not very good at sports - but you know, letting yourself suck at something and still do it is so liberating. It’s the highest form of existence. I will keep doing stuff even though I’m bad at it. I have no target - I don't want to be better in one year, maybe I want to be bad forever. But it’s so good.
I try to [live without expectation] I know it’s the key to a more liberated state of being but it’s very hard, you know, because I play badminton with people who are very good at sports and they do want to be better. And a lot of people come in and want to be better, want to be intermediate next year or in 6 months - so I'm going against the grain. It can feel a little…ah, am I doing it wrong?
What, if any, advice would you give to someone just starting on their peace journey?
I think to just do it. There is no one way or another. And to follow your heart and not limit yourself. Even at this moment I am part of two other youth coalitions in the country. It’s just that I'm called to do it, so I do it. I think in my case being able to be part of my own community, through Lens, through other coalitions, and be part of other initiatives. It makes me feel more complete I guess, more almost like no matter what happens to me and my career - I work for a foreign company so like I’m aware at any point my employment situation can change - and knowing that I still have all of these groups that I belong to, it’s so helpful. I know I will be part of a community, my own community, no matter what happens. So being a peace leader and a community organizer or a peacebuilder, I think it’s just who you are. You cannot run away from it, it will catch you somehow! If you are not working professionally you will find yourself involved in many organizations, community collectives, whatever and to just embrace that.
You mentioned earlier you’re going against the grain – I think that’s important and I’m curious if you can share more about that.
Everyday I try to find more courage to do that. It is incredibly challenging. Even in, for example, being bad at badminton and not wanting to improve, I know it grades people a certain way - they ask me point blank, “why are you not improving Bin after 6 months?! Why don’t you want to improve?” All I need is courage to keep going. To lose people over that, and to lose relationships over that as well. But it just so happens that every time I lose people over that other people show up. I find that letting go and trusting in the universe, in the process, is very important. Stop trying to control everything all the time. I want to try to let it be natural and be a little braver every day.
How do you tap into that bravery and courage?
I used to be very scared to say what I think and to be very outspokenly feminist. You know? Even to be known in your own circle as a feminist. That girl who is a feminist. It used to be so scary - I don't want to be known as that feminist, as a social justice warrior. Because I think there is a bad connotation. Those people who are always on twitter fighting people, on social media and what not. But I just think that it’s all part of being me and staying true to what I believe in. One day when I decided to say what I think, nobody said anything and my friends are quite open to hearing it and empathize with some of the causes I raise and why I think a certain way. One of the biggest moments when I feel so assured: this was last year [my boyfriend] was living in a dorm apartment and there was an exchange student from Japan, we were still in university, she was interviewing Danu and he said, “oh you know I think I’m a feminist also,” and the interviewer was so surprised like what do you mean? Danu told me that he said he learned from me and was able to understand what it means to live as a feminist to live your day to day life as a feminist and not be on twitter - maybe that’s part of it - but it’s more about who you're being - the bigger thing is in you. The same way with being a peacebuilder it's part of us. I think it will be a disservice to ourselves if we don’t express what we believe in, if we don’t live our lives the way we believe it - our ideal world.
“...when I reflect back it feels like peacebuilding is coming back to yourself. To what you truly believe in and coming back to the community that we all want.”
Anything else you want to share?
I realized it’s so, so important to really work on social cohesion and really build our empathy skills. I think it’s so, so deeply important. It goes beyond the theory of social justice, theory of gender equality, or theory of peacebuilding. It comes naturally to us I think, and like naturally we want people to be treated equally – we are born with it. But somehow I think everyday maybe we are taught otherwise, or see otherwise, and we start to ignore those beliefs, those core beliefs of what we believe in since we are born. A lot of times the facilitation, the programs, because we do a lot of talking, a lot of discussing, and a lot of listening, when I reflect back it feels like peacebuilding is coming back to yourself. To what you truly believe in and coming back to the community that we all want. You know? It becomes so natural the more I think about it - the more I believe that why I feel so comforted when I’m doing a river of life [exercise] or a program, because maybe that's what I truly desire to have a community – of trusting to live in a world where we all can recognize pain in each other and know how to be kind and to hold each other accountable at the same time you know? Maybe that’s what I want. Why it feels so comforting to do programs and to do facilitation because that’s truly the state of being that we all deserve to live in, you know.
Whatever we are, whatever we do we will always be peacebuilders - that practice we do in the alumni course - it’s not doing, it’s being. That was so powerful and liberating.